Yes, its the Apocalypse alright

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 04/12/2016 at 14:55 • Filed to: stupid things

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And even though you [probably] didn’t have a hand in it you are now tasked with surviving it. And because this is my post and I make the rules I’ve declared that what you need is a brand new 2016 model vehicle to do so. Money is no object (cause you’re just going to take it anyway) but any modifications you do to it you will have to do yourself because AVE and ICON are only accepting 30-06 ammo as payment and all you have is .38 ACP.

Basically,this

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So, do you take the Jeep, the Merc or the Toyota...or... what other choice do you consider?

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 14:58

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Land Cruiser all day. It’s nearly as good off road as the Jeep while being way more comfortable, especially since money is no object. The G wagen isn’t even in the picture.

Edit: Plus it’ll run forever.

HammerheadFistpunch > Van Man, rocks the Man Van 04/12/2016 at 15:00

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I wouldn’t say nearly as good, but I would say good enough.

OPPOsaurus WRX > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:00

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this should be ok

Slant6 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:01

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http://www.4x4firetruck.com/

One of these.

not for canada - australian in disguise > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:02

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LC.

But not that one.

Dead reliable, capable offroad, plenty of space for supplies, and looks totally bad ass.

Let’s face it, the apocalypse is basically gonna turn the whole world into Australia. Might as well survive it in a car that has been the de facto vehicle for pretty much everybody in the Outback.

HammerheadFistpunch > Slant6 04/12/2016 at 15:03

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not bad, not bad. a little ungainly but it would fit the bill...unless superfast zombies..

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:03

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Probably a G63 6X6 with a bed topper and water/fuel storage bits. And a windshield shield.

Slant6 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:04

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Woah there. You never said anything about zombies.

HammerheadFistpunch > not for canada - australian in disguise 04/12/2016 at 15:04

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A japan spec 76 dual cab (1gr-fe with 5 speed manual) would be perfect, since you could find parts for it all day long.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:04

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Not buying a G-Wagen because Merc reliability.

Wrangler is stuck with Jeep reliability issues (though I believe they are more associated with the GC), but at least it’s simple and relatively easy to repair.

Land Cruiser is built like a brick shitter.

As someone who is not a Toyota fan, and who would normally have one of the other two, the Land Cruiser is my choice for apocalypse duty.

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:05

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Ford Raptor.

StingrayJake > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:07

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HammerheadFistpunch > Xyl0c41n3 04/12/2016 at 15:07

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only...they don’t sell a 2016 raptor.

HammerheadFistpunch > StingrayJake 04/12/2016 at 15:08

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is the 2016 model year car behind that cool looking armored man?

HammerheadFistpunch > Slant6 04/12/2016 at 15:09

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well, i mean...obviously there will be zombies...just depends on which kind.

Captain of the Enterprise > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:11

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Land Cruiser

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:12

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Easy to work on, will run forever, great payload so you can weld some steel plate armor on and going off road wouldn’t be an issue.

misfitmascots > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:12

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Slant6 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:14

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I can think of a few other apocalypse scenarios where zombies are not involved.

But if they are I can keep them away with my sirens, lights, cage, and water guns.

StingrayJake > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:14

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Fallout 4 DLC, yo!

Gone > Slant6 04/12/2016 at 15:14

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Don’t get the Navistar Workstar. Don’t get the Workstar. Don’t get the

You have died because your DT engine EGR cooler failed.

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:15

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I’ve already got the book

crowmolly > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:16

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2016 MRAP. Preferably with Ma Deuce.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:18

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Unimog camper

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:18

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Yeah, but they're expected to go on sale eventually this year, aren't they? I think it counts. :D

HammerheadFistpunch > Xyl0c41n3 04/12/2016 at 15:20

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I think they will be 2017 models only.

Gone > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:21

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It’s got an early 12V Cummins, so it’ll burn damn near anything - fryer oil, motor oil, trans fluid, etc. Or I guess diesel, but that’s no fun.

HammerheadFistpunch > Gone 04/12/2016 at 15:22

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They sell those new in 2016?

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:24

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Yeah, they are. But I’ve never understood why we call vehicles model year “X” when they start getting sold sometimes as early as February of the preceding year.

HammerheadFistpunch > Xyl0c41n3 04/12/2016 at 15:27

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yeah, its goofy I admit. I’m mainly keeping it to 2016 to keep in the context of the linked article, to agree with their choice or to propose an alternative.

Slant6 > Gone 04/12/2016 at 15:27

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Fine. I’ll get a glider from them and get a pre 2003 Detroit 60. Happy?

Wobbles the Mind > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:32

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If the Apocalypse will wait until Fall, here’s my chariot.

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:34

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forget the zombies, you have to outrun other human survivors who want your awesome truck for themselves!

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:36

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but “new” in 2016, as in I could go to a ford dealer right now and get a 2015 model with only delivery miles on it

Die-Trying > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:39

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2016 edition killdozer

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:41

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the bone stockiest f150 I could find

should be about a million of em I can scrounge parts from. reasonably fast, should do ok on failing roads and dirt, and haul enough things to essentially live out of it. never really set down roots and just keep on rolling mad max style

Die-Trying > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:41

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newly built in 2016? counts right?

yamahog > Xyl0c41n3 04/12/2016 at 15:42

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Marketing mostly, but also can be a “cover your ass” move when you get launch delays. Like the 2014 Cherokee was supposed to hit dealers in June 2013, and it took until fall to get the 9spd issues sorted out.

HammerheadFistpunch > Die-Trying 04/12/2016 at 15:42

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I’ll allow it, if only because it fits your username so well.

HammerheadFistpunch > MonkeePuzzle 04/12/2016 at 15:42

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I like it.

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:44

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I’d never pick one for my regular life, but it seems perfect.

I read an excellent overland article about why certain vehicles are chosen, and the Toyota Hilux or the Land Cruiser’s prevalence world wide meaning there are 3 broken down for parts in every small town, meant everyone drove one.

HammerheadFistpunch > MonkeePuzzle 04/12/2016 at 15:47

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Although if it were me, I would pick a Silverado because smallblock. Heck a V6 model with the 6 speed will give you lots of options for fitment if needed.

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:49

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availability of parts was my main driver. if I actually had to pick, I’d choose the first f150 I saw, regardless of year.

ok, I’d pick the first vehicle I saw, but I’d trade it out as soon as I saw any f150. and then I’d stop and ransack every f150 I saw from then on for parts

HammerheadFistpunch > MonkeePuzzle 04/12/2016 at 15:54

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Solid logic, but given how many silverados there are as well, its probably not a significant deterrent .

BorkBorkBjork > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:58

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Gone > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 16:09

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Sure? I’ll start building them as a boutique builder. :)

Fine fine fine, I’ll stick to your rules: 2016 PW

HammerheadFistpunch > Gone 04/12/2016 at 16:10

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good choice, and the first to suggest it.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 16:15

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Land Cruiser if it’s from this list.

If not, a Ford Super Duty.

TheHondaBro > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 16:18

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Gimme the Yota pls.

Gone > Slant6 04/12/2016 at 16:30

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The life you save might be your own!

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 19:57

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ok, I saw an atom on the way home, and I’d like to change my answer. Either the Ariel Atom’s offroad buddy (whatever it is called) or the Rally Fighter.

TylerLinner > HammerheadFistpunch 04/13/2016 at 09:49

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I’d order an olive green Cake fatbike frame/fork and swap my Framed Mini-sota’s components over. Cause, you know, gas is hard to find in the end of the world, but food might be obtainable. :)

Ok, so if I had to pick an automobile...
A base model F-150 regular cab short box 4x4 with a 2.7L V6 and a rear locker. Theoretically it’s possible.

Replacement parts should be plentiful because of its popularity, off road should be good enough to go most places because 4x4 and short wheelbase, a sleeping bag will fit in the bed and the engine will be not as horrible on gas as it could be.

Then I’d raid a store for camo paint and make it invisible.

uofime-2 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/13/2016 at 10:06

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I think they still make the hindustan ambassador, so I choose that, the oldest, low tech thing that can be fixed with a hammer and paperclips and yet still call a “2016" model.